Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
