i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
