people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
