How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
