she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
