i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
