Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
