My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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