have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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