I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
