in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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