Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
