i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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