my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
