Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
vagina is talking i cant
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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