come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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