Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
