Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
