Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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