Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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