I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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