fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We had to coat check the pizza.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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