I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
