BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just googled if crying burns calories
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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