so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
