You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
