I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
