im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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