It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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