Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
