that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize