My liver just broke up with me...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
people are starting to question the shark bite story
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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