I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
