saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This is the high leading the old right now
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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