What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
