I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
