Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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