Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
