Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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