i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
