No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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