I think I won the penis lottery.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize