He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
