i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
