you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
