I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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