i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
