i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
