I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
