I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
