Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
