dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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