i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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