Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize