for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
