dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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