Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
