Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
