I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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