i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
